Why I want a Wife

While researching for one of my posts, I came across this article written by a Judy Brady who was a free-lance author during the 1960s and wrote many articles on women's movement. This piece entitled 'why I want a wife' was written by her in 1971 and became a classic of feminist satire. It's a very interesting read and this is America in the 1970s. I don't know about you but in some sense it is what Brunei is in the 2000s seemed to be like. Brunei males tend to be dependent on their wives. Is this a cultural upbringing? Or is it the way things are?Anyway, read and comment.

Why I Want a Wife by Judy Brady

According to the dictionary, a wife is a "woman married to a man." But, as many women know, a wife is much more: COO (Chief Operating Officer), housekeeper, nutritionist, chauffeur, friend, sex partner, valet, nurse, social secretary, ego-builder, and more. Rather than complains why she herself would like to have a wife.

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene from the Midwest fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school, so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arrenges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shoping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and a change of scene.

I want a wife who will take care of details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to certain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night ot by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to ralate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have acquired a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duities.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife ?


Anonymous said…
Looks like someone needs a MAID =) no?
Anonymous said…
Morning you all,

Exactly, sounds like a combination of maid and mother rather than a wife. A wife is more then doing chores and taking care of children and the house.

she is a you're soul mate, best friend, a shoulder to cry on, your conscience, partner in crime, one to relay on, mother to your child, voice of reason and the one you love.

A maid is someone who works for you and thats what the writer wanted.
Anonymous said…
I know this about wanting a wife but....As a daughter i want a mommy to make sure i feel well, fed well, clothed well, emotionally well, mentally well. And i want a daddy to protect a me,finance my needs for education, retail therapy,etc. My helper can just help with the dishes, cleaning up, garden, wash the car and not talk to neighbours/future employers/whoever about what goes on in the house so she has to have a good attitude too.
Anonymous said…
My concept is this.....as long the work load is distributed equally between both parties, it will remove disparities of any nature. The problem with human beings is that we don't compromise...Prof Steven Covey once said " to fulfil one's emotional bank account, each has to clarify each other's expectations". I think we can all learn from this statement where we should not expect too much but be content with whatever. We just have to be more thoughtful and not always "getting a ride on the horseback" all the time.
Anonymous said…
What you need is Wonder Woman I think.
Anonymous said…
oh my god... that wife is a superhuman.. but yeah i think some wives in brunei do have to do chores like this.. especially if they r full-time housewives...
Anonymous said…
Hah! I'm a husband & work full time! But I'm the one who does the groceries, pick up the kids at school, attend parents teacher meetings, run errants - bills etc. Basically everything! Some of my female collegues envy my wife!

I now know how some wives feel if all this work is not appreciated by their spouse!
Anonymous said…
To Anonymous:

Trying giving birth.. breastfeeding (every couple of hours).. changing diapers.. getting peeed/pooed on.. playing with the baby whenever the baby wants attention.. playing with the kids, answering the kids when they have infinite insurmountable amount of seemingly unending questions.. hindering the kids from turning the house upside down.. cleaning up when they do.. AND at the same time, cooking.. cleaning.. washing up..

I go out to work too.. my work is hard.. i sweat kgs of water a week.. strain my brain hours on end day after day.. but I appreciate the work my wife puts into taking care of my kid (1!!!) and looking after the home.. I think at the end of the day.. the workload is equally hard for both side.. 'Same 'sh*t' Different jobs'.

Anonymous said…
Go to the airport during flights back to Indonesia. See the number of family members that send 1 Amah.. from laki to nini, and watch their sad faces. We're now too dependent on Amah; stories of laki marrying their amah! Can you find a devoted wife now who does everything as the writer stated? Brunei's life is too materalistic now.
Anonymous said…
if i were to compare what my mum have contributed to the family tho' she's illiterate ... she's irreplaceable ... becoz' it' not easy to get today's mum even near to that level .... sigh ...
p o t a t o said…
Where are all the feminists? =D

I agree with Emma. The description of wife in the post is for a superhuman.

Underlying assumptions of the description are:
(a) women are passive. They do not have feelings, if they do, they do not speak up.
(b) they're supposed to sacrifice everything for the family - their personal alone time, their money, their energy, their personal wants and demands.
(c) they have a lot of time at their disposal - house chores, being a mother, being a wife, etc
(d) the woman in question has no such things as PMS, anger, jealousy, frustration, crying, rage outburts, boredom, etc....
(e) the superwife is someone who doesn't need to be comforted, loved, appreciated, cherished. She doesn't even want to have a break.

God. Either the superwife is a fool, or she is not human at all.

So this is why they say "Behind every successful man is a superwoman" (or something like that... =D)

So fellas, kiss and hug your wifeys when they're not expecting it. Put a word of thanks as well. I assure you they will appreciate it and perhaps more motivated? =)
Anonymous said…
am not a wife yet, but if i were one day, i want to be a wife who is faithful to my husband, who can bear him children, who can make him happy and never make him sad, who can fullfil his every need, zahir n batin, who can educate our children, be a good mother, always support him from the back, make him feel at home when he's at home etc etc...
Anonymous said…
For a wife, I looked for a woman who could look after my children should I die first.....but it seems now my wife is already practising it.

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