More Questions Confusing Mankind

  1. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  2. Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
  3. Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?
  4. Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
  5. Does killing time damage eternity?
  6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  7. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
  8. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
  9. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
  10. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  11. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  12. Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
  13. Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
  14. Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
  15. Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
  16. Do pilots take crash-courses?
  17. Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
  18. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
  19. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  20. Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
  21. How can there be self-help "groups"?
  22. How do you get off a non-stop flight?
  23. How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
  24. How many weeks are there in a light year?
  25. If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
  26. If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
  27. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
  28. If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
  29. If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
  30. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
  31. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
  32. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
  33. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
  34. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
  35. If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
  36. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  37. Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
  38. Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
  39. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Comments

amyheidi said…
Hehe. Funny. One thing though, there's no zero in roman numerals because they didn't invent it and only used it by 525 BC (courtesy of wikipedia)
PhantomSmart said…
Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?

It was invented by a guy called Phillps , not Phillip.

# Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

only his ass is smart, in the sene that it is shut most of the time, unlike his mouth or eyes.

# Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


To Edgar Rice Burroughs, Tarzan was perfect white male. Beards were for Scots , Jews and Orientals; people who in England at that time wer aliens.

# Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

it sticks to your lips, not sticks your lips.

# Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

As the sun sets, the light falls from view. The same sun 'breaks' the darkness when rising.

# Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

minutes,seconds, hours. Which unit is second in order?

# Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Cos you just want to say it.

# Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Real lemon juice will dry up your tongue and burn it.

# Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

temporary conductors, like electro magnets.

# Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?

Since every pawn can graduate , sure. You'll need to stick two of em together to make a king tho.

# Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

it saves an hour of daylight for business. But I'd like to know too...

# Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Jellyfish can't eat anything they cna't digest, so I guess we don't know.

# Do pilots take crash-courses?

Sure. Read page 11.

# Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

solar rivers.

# Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Hope not, that's just one side of him. He's on a dollar bill tho.

# Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I guess I can, but they can't imagine us.

# Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

Actually, it has happenned.

# How can there be self-help "groups"?

groups of people who should help themselves. Makes sense?

# How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Jump!

# How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

Romans counted in tens and hundreds and thousands. WHen confronted with a nil value, they simply wrote nothing.

# How many weeks are there in a light year?


# If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

Sure. Einstein said so.

# If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

They get 'burst oxygen pipe' syndrome.

# If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

Without friends, you aren't popular.

# If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Deaf people can keep their ears steady and in order. Blind folks may not be able to do so with eyes.

# If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

Sure.

# If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

Solyent Green

# If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

Electrolux of the Gods

# If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

In the whale world, they probably look like studs.

# If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

you can only ever hear a fog horn.

# If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

so you can drink OR drive.

# If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

your backwards is someone's forwards, so no.

# If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

disoriental, more like it.

# Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

You sure that ain't an adult?

# Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Because 'panas' forces the tongue to touch the roof of the gums and would cause pain.

# Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Everyone is rushing to little gaps and everyone in rush hour is late.
rose said…
yeaa ive read this before.... new topic please...
rose said…
and i actually enjoyed phamtomsmart's comeback.. hee very very nice indeed..
Nice one, Phantomsmart. I posted an earlier one in April, you might have some answers for that one too. Have fun.
Anonymous said…
phantomsmart, I like him :-) great to have people like him in Brunei

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