You know you are Bruneian (Part 2)

  1. You 'miss call' instead of calling or sending sms.
  2. You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"
  3. You park your car as close as possible to your destination area.
  4. You speak Malaysia if you meet Malaysian, speak Indonesia if you meet Indonesian.. and so on.
  5. You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only be "listening".
  6. You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use a blank envelope.
  7. Indo mee is your staple food and Ayamku is your fastfood.
  8. The term 'balik kampung' is almost not applicable.. since you can 'balik kampung' everyday.
  9. Motorcyles and bicycles are not your transport, they are your sport.
  10. When you see local tv camera around you during the day, then at night you will watch local news... and hoping to see yourself on television.
  11. You drive your car on wavy and potholed road.
  12. You receive official news faster by mean of "mouth" than by "written".
  13. You like electronic products from Japan.
  14. If you have the chance to call a radio show and before you are asked to hang-up, you say 'boleh minta putarkan lagu?'
  15. You are in BIG debts and refuse to pay the lenders and yet still drive a CLK and live in a mansion.
  16. You wear baju kurung with large katoks and maniks all over.
  17. You are loud and speak in melandih way.
  18. You and the whole family have the same car plate numbers.
  19. You spend your $$$$$ on your wedding even though you are broke.
  20. You become Akademi Fantasia fanatics.
  21. You know most of the people here - "eh si anak si anu eh saudara si blabla".
  22. You drive to the shop next door even though the shop is only 100 meters away (except maybe in Kampung Ayer).
  23. Every year, since the 80s until last year, you don't want not to miss HM's Birthday Titah (because you are hoping that HM will increase your salary).
  24. When you want to get some service from the government agencies, you will find your saudara first.
  25. If something goes wrong, you will say that one of the datos, pehins is your relative (or at least they know you).
  26. You cannot live without Brudirect's HYS.
  27. You give you children super long name.
  28. You rush to a new shopping mall just to beat everybody else even though it's just another Hua Ho.
  29. You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.
  30. You are able to pay (or not) for one or two amahs who are most likely an Indonesian or a Filipino.
  31. You are ok to be fat.
  32. You are a busy body with other peoples' news, especially the bad ones, and you think your responsibility is to know and to spread it around.
  33. Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know who to go to.
  34. You like to stare at phones for 24 hours and chat on MSN.
  35. You say "Mun paham bisai" (this needs no further explaination) .
  36. You have to wear 'cool' attire everywhere, even on holidays.
  37. You add "BUI" on each sentence.
  38. You think exercising, being hyper active, competition are for little kids.
  39. You can't type or spell properly properly, example "hw r u? hy my nme s si org brnui"
  40. You add "me & you" on your converstations with your girl mates.
  41. You listen to Pelangi FM.
  42. You think fake Von Dutch products are the best.
  43. You are especially racist to Indian workers.
  44. You would rather go to shopping malls than hanging out at parks, having a picnic with your friends.
  45. You have 'candas' in your house.
  46. You read this blogsite because all your friends are reading it and you don't want to be left behind.
  47. You rush to get a $99 handphone not caring about the limited features coz you think anything cheap is a bargain.
  48. You have two handphones - one for DST and the other for BMobile (for one month and then switch off one or the other).
  49. You always try to runding the policemen who caught you speeding.


PS. This list is compiled from all the comments I received both here and verbally after I posted the first You know you are Bruneian post. Similarly to that one, I don't claim credit as the credit belongs to all of you out there. Thank you to all contributors and I welcome more contributions to start Part 3.

Comments

AnakBrunei said…
Hahahahaha! This made me chuckle! What a great start to the day! Thanks for sharing this!
29 said…
Haha LOL. Banar tu eh yang jumpa M'sia cakap M'sia, jumpa Indon cakap Indon. Hee. You know that not only Bruneians who missedcalls each other. My Australian friends and some African friends do too. Haha and I still find that funny because it is just a Bruneian thing.
Anonymous said…
hahahha they're so damn true!!! almost every each statement could be applied to anyone of us, haha. and oh i would just like to comment on no.4 yeah, why is it that when we speak to someone who's not bruneian malay, we tend to follow their accent or the way they speak, for example when talking to a malaysian we suddenly have this malaysian accent or when talking to our fellow chinese friends we talk with a bit of chinese accent as well and so on and so on..? do we not have a strong and our own national IDENTITY? just food for thought. sorry if i offended anyone.
Anonymous said…
True to the word that we are racist to Indians (althought they might be Bangladesh, Pakistanis or Sri Lankans). Is it because we dont have name for the rest or we are just plain one racist lot?
Anonymous said…
We're raised racist. Banar! How else would we know those impolite words we call Indians and the Indigenous people as.
HoneyBee said…
Thats funny ! But we may want to change the followings attitude :

"You are asked to go to the meeting but actually you will only be listening "

Its sad to know / experienced that some meetings may have to be made repeatedly before any decision can be made. May be thats one of the reason attending a meeting but dont know or do not make any contribution at all.

Every decision or project should be given some value so that these 'decision makers' realised how much each projects / decisions cost.

We need to be competitive right :0

Cheers..
PrettyUgly said…
Hahahahaha! This is funny.. You really make my day. It is all so true....
harude said…
how true, hahaha. did you know that we Asians are the most racist group of people on the planet? it's true
Lonely_Stork said…
HAHA...you just decribe me exactly, well maybe 85% of it.
Anonymous said…
@do we not have a strong and our own national IDENTITY?

actually its very simple, u see, those malaysian dont even understand A WORD if we speak in our true Brunei language, and did u know that that the malaysian dont even bother to try and speak in brunei language if they speak to us??

kalau boleh bah, mun org malaysia atu nda merati apa yg ku cakapi, baiktah ku cakap "mun paham bisai" LOL
Anonymous said…
another one :
You cannot live without "the daily brunei resources" blog ... ROTFLOL
Jewelle said…
Great lists. I can definitely agree with "park as close as possible" as that's what hubby kept telling me whenever we go round and round looking for parking, never mind that there are many parkings just a little bit further, as he kept stressing its a "Brunei Thing"!
I don't know about other Malaysian, but I don't speak the local lingo because am not sure how to speak full Brunei (except "awu") AND usually Bruneians (especially government officers) that I deal with prefer to respond in English. Even though I usually make it a point to speak Malay to them, albeit Malaysian Malay lah.
But I think there should be some local Brunei drama that uses strictly Brunei lingo then we can learn lah! You see, even Rampai Pagi speaks Peninsular Malaysia Malay.
Anonymous said…
none positive, I'm afraid. That's the lot of a Bruneian- why don't we have a negative ( - ) sign on our flag?
KAI said…
"Mun paham bisai" whoever came up with this saying should be shot on sight. i've even heard this one being said in a meeting.
kamakazi said…
my comment on "park as close as possible" .. i remember my friend always say this to me "Bruneian always park infront of the shop" which is true if you think about it :)
Anonymous said…
I'd add number 48. Bruneians students overseas have at least two phones. Most have more than two. 1- Brunei line on roaming, 2- the line with the provider they are at that offers the cheapest call rates, 3 - the line with the provider they are at that offers other benefits.

Urang kitani ani pandai beidup. Bagus jua tu ;)
Anonymous said…
oh god!!! every statement is so true.......
what applies to me the most is the statement about the ayamku......
whoever composed the blog is so genius.....almost every statement describes a typical Bruneian.
parishiltonbrunei said…
thanx, u made me smile today with this entry :)
lizzie said…
"You know most of the people here..."

no matter how hard i try to stay low-key, there's absolutely no way to avoid meeting someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows me. i guess brunei is THAT small!
Anonymous said…
KHAI SAID

"Mun paham bisai" whoever came up with this saying should be shot on sight. i've even heard this one being said in a meeting.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 3:43:12 PM

I think whoever come up with that phrase is brilliant if everyone is using it. Remember the "Malas Tak Ku Ingau" phenomenon. I think BR should make a list of Bruneain Phrase that made the rounds since sliced bread.
Nie CHa said…
Lawak jua ah. Banar tue, jumpa org M'sia, cakap m'sia. kalau cakap melayu baku okaylah. ani inda, di pajal jua be "saye, kite". asak saja tia cakap brunei bah. biar tah org M'sia apa tebangang. I hate , "mun paham bisai", atu. bari garam ati.
[saint devil] said…
Instead thinking people are admiring you, you shout at them, "apa liat-liat?!"

When people honk you on the road, you take it as an offense and try to chase the car responsible.

When you see someone whom you have not seen in a long time and instead of greeting them properly, you curse them such as "eh paloi batah ku inda jumpa kau ah!".

'Bayi' to the Malaysians is a baby, 'bayi' (or 'baie') to us is more of 'damn'.

Rules are made to be broken. We can get away with it half the time in plain sight because we know somebody that well, we have been friendly to the people in-charge and/or we say 'because this or that said so'.

You're either a Liverpool or Manchester United fan. Chelsea and Arsenal fans are deviants and should be made fun of.

You hate America due to the preachings of some religious people, yet you want to befriend a real American when s/he comes to Brunei. It is even a previlege if s/he is an African-American.

You either have Friendster or MSN. Or both.

When a fellow Bruneian speaks fluent English, you tell them, "jangan speaking bah".

You don't mind or sometimes ignore partial nudity on television or the Internet, but your eyes pop out when a Bruneian Malay reveals a bit of skin.

You associate soldiers in the army as either academic dropouts or sex maniacs.
Anonymous said…
After trying halfway through reading the lists I tell myself .. "oh sh**, I dont do those things" Does this mean I am not a Bruneian? I answered them all on my blog ( http://bruneibeauty.blogspot.com/) and it aint good. I want to be Bruneian. I am proud to be one :) hehehe
Anonymous said…
I somehow agreed with the pelangi FM, no disrespect to the producer, but that station is absolute nonsense. It was because of the young DJ, who annoyed me, maybe others. They just don't know when to stop talking. I am sorry, they really suck at it.
Anonymous said…
We always sigh about MIB (Meeting inda beranti)
Ms R said…
You are Bruneian if you wear slipar 'jaguar'
Anonymous said…
You wear a 'tie-rack' scarf
Josephine said…
Quite funny, though I am finding the lists, part 1 and 2, a little offensive. Shows how 'kampong' us Bruneians are. I guess it could apply to some. But how about contributions of points showing us in more positive light? But still quite humourous.
Ay Nonni Mes said…
1. you miss call someone who has a Primaline to call you back because you're on Easi. Coz you think it's only right that you don't have to waste the money to make an outgoing call

2. when a particular sport for women starts to get more focus everyone wants to be a part of it but the minute it stops receiving attention almost all the players abandon the game for another more focused sport. Hopefully to be featured in a picture on someone's blog.

3. everytime someone prominent is mentioned or is in focus you somehow find a way to link them to your family either as a distant relative or a family friend. either way you hope you will be noticed/admired through association.

4. you think everybody is against you and always has negative thoughts on other people and that you're the only one who ever says or does anything right.

5. you get a job and the first car you get is either a merc or a beamer.

6. when someone doesn't smile at you or acknowledges you you think they are against you and tell everyone how mean they are.

7. you have an accident with a chinese looking driver and get ready to go on a rampage and the minute they bagi salam, you back down and smile and say 'anak siapa ko wang/dang?'.

8. you get into an accident with an authentic chinese/indian/bangladeshi/sri lankan/thai/filipino and proceed to abuse them either verbally or physically.

9. getting a license in Brunei means you can drive like a maniac esp on the Jerudong/Tutong/Belait highways.

10. you think the inner lane on the 3-lane roundabout means you can use it to get off on the 3rd or 4th exit.

11. you talk about people in a bad way behind their back but when you come face to face with them you shake their hands/pat them on the back/salam and kiss each other on both cheeks. Then right after, you tell the nearest person how rotten they are.

~~~these aren't meant to be offensive. they're meant to open your eyes and realise that we can improve ourselves to become better.~~~

oh i should add another one.

12. you're a Bruneian if you can't take criticism well and decide to 'bedendam' with the person who criticised you FOREVER.
and make comments to put down the person who you 'think' put you down.

oh and here's another one:

13. Since the hilight on Brunei bloggers you immediately go online and register yourself your own blogsite and then find a way to announce your blog to someone who can get you 'famous'.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHA
Ay Nonni Mes said…
typo on #10 inner=outer
[saint devil] said…
You realised all the typical Bruneian's flaws and make fun of them. Then you make a point by posting an article about it with a shopping list of all the things we do subconsciously.
LOL! I love it! Most of them are really true! For every point I read, I either nod my head feverishly or laugh and giggle at it.
Anonymous said…
how about this one... "Baru ia...ORIS!"
[saint devil] said…
The fire brigade is used to capture snakes than to actually put out fires. Then when they are on the news, all the firemen want a piece of the fame... even though it's 3 or 4 foot long snake LOL.
Afandi said…
Brilliant, sheer brilliant.
What's more amusing is you listed my points (number 34 to 44), I'm flattered and laughing my arse off at the same time.
Cheers mate, you never failed to amuse your readers.
"The Girl From Ipanema" said…
I like Point No. 10! It's so true =D
However, some of the items listed are a bit 'dated' *winks*
[saint devil] said…
and we often add 'kali ah, bullleeehhh' in sentences that befits that annoying catchphrase haha
Anonymous said…
Lol what a gem

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