Reality of Brunei Married Life?

It's been a while since I posted something humorous. Luckily someone gave me this and I think it's hillarious as a reflection of the reality of our our day to day married life here in Brunei. I believe the original must have been in English and someone somewhere modified it. So, my apologies to the real owner of this thing (email me and I will credit you) and my apologies whose lingua franca is not Brunei Malay:-

Sebelum Tidur:
6 minggu: selamat malam sayang, mimpi yang siuk-siuk, mmmuach.
6 bulan: tutup lampu ah, silau bah.
6 tahun : Ke sana sikit lah... tidur kalau nda mengimpiti ke mari nda boleh kah???!

Pakai Toilet:
6 minggu: nda apa, you dulu tah, I tunggu.
6 bulan: lama lagikah?
6 tahun: brug! brug! brug! (suara pintu digagar), kalau kan betapa agatah arah gunung pagun di sana!!

Balas SMS:
6 minggu: iye sayang, jap lagi i sampai, i singgah bali murtabak yg u suka..
6 bulan: trafik jam ah.
6 tahun: k..

Dating process:
6 minggu: I love you, I love you, I love you.
6 bulan: Of courselah I love you.
6 tahun : Macam-macam you ani. Kalau I nda love you, nda kan I nikah you??

Balik Keraja:
6 minggu: Honey, I balik sudah...
6 bulan : I'm BACK!!
6 tahun: Masak apa hari ani??

Hadiah (ulang tahun):
6 minggu : Sayang, I hope you suka the cincin I balikan you
6 bulan : I bali lukisan, bisai usulnya arah bilik living room kitani
6 tahun : Nah duit, you bali tah sendiri apa yang you mau..

Telefon:
6 minggu: Baby, ada orang kan cakap sama you ni
6 bulan : Eh...your call...
6 tahun : WOOIII! TELFON BUNYI TUUUHHH....ANGKAT AH!!!

Masakan:
6 minggu: Wah, nda sangkalah, masakan you ani nyaman rupanya...!!!
6 bulan: Kitani makan apa malam ani??
6 tahun: HAH? ANI LAGI?

Memaafkan:
6 minggu: Sudahtah, nda apa tu, sudah pacah biar tia, nanti kitani bali lagi bah
6 bulan: Bisai-bisai! Gugur tu karang.
6 tahun: Sudah dipadah balik-balik, pun nda paham?!!

Baju baru:
6 minggu: Wah sayang, macam bidadarilah makai baju atu...
6 bulan: Lah.. bali baju baru lagi?
6 tahun: UDAH BERAPA RIBU HABIS MEMBALI BAJU ATU???

Merancang Holiday:
6 minggu: Macam mana kalau kitani jalan-jalan ke Amerika kah, ke tampat yang you suka?
6 bulan: Ke Miri saja. Sanang sikit nda payah naik kapalterabang...
6 tahun: JALAN-JALAN??? DUDUK RUMAH SAJA BAH! BUANG DUIT SAJA TU!

TV:
6 minggu: Baby, apa kan kitani liat malam ani?
6 bulan : Sekajap ah, siuk cerita ani bah.
6 tahun: JANGAN TUKAR2 CHANNEL. BOLEHKAH?!

Terlangga' batu:
6 minggu: Kurang asam batu ani, nanti abang bali cangkul, kan dibuang batu ani.
6 bulan: Bila berjalan atu bisai-bisai meliat dapan.
6 tahun: BUTA KAH!!!! Batu basar macam gunung dapan mata atu pun nda teliat???!

I rest my case. If you are guilty of any of the above, you know what to do. So, Sayang, what are we having for dinner tonight?

Comments

Anonymous said…
hahahahahahahahh!!shud i b expecting all these wen im married??
Anonymous said…
I guess the honeymoon is over heheh
Anonymous said…
Its true... it happens now in my marriage... its so sad... my marriage already 6 years...
Anonymous said…
I guess I am still lucky despite the fact we have been married for more than 15 years, my dearest hubby still referred me as 'sayang'. Of course I don't expect for any phone calls nowadays even if he is abroad! In fact we just settled for sending SMS - cheaper in a way. I think if we are married long enough, we know each other better and whats best to keep our marriage going. Don't be over demanding and compromise in most ways are the two important thing in marriage life. I just pray to Allah Almighty that our marriage will last until we both died and let us cherish and enjoy our life while we are still breathing..
Hilarious! :D Unfortunately, it's all too true! I probably will do at least one of the above when I eventually get married. Hey, the sparks in love are not so sparky anymore after so many years!

I wish I could understand more of the Malay slangs though hehe.
prettyugly said…
Wow interesting facts though not all marriage are like that. Funny & pretty as well. Overall the pretty and ugly side of marriage life only can be balanced if both husband & wife appreciate and trust each other from now and then, that's what important.
FlyBoy said…
Sounds familiar....but truth is better than fiction :)
Anonymous said…
Nice read :) Exercised my brain and language skills a bit. Read this in standard Malay before and boy oh boy Brunei Malay is quite a bit different... I've no idea what some of the words mean
Aaron John said…
He he. That's a funny posting. My marriage has just passed the 6th month mark. To be honest, my wife and I are still like honeymooners. So please ask me again after 6 years (!)

Some funny quotes about marriage:

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."

"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Anonymous said…
haha....it sounds true n im not even married yet....hahahaha....pity 4 women to put up with us aye??

thing is...wat is a true husband??? a good husband...one u can trust...u cant just get married just for d sake of it or just because d dudes handsome, charming, rich...etc3...tho i know these are the new requirement checklist for most women out there...

well yea they do need to look for the financial security...yadda3...getting to my point, what about ones iman??? no one i know looks for dat nowadays...behind every great man, there a great wife...well yea...how do u expect your kids 2 b well mannered, pious...etc3....ppl have lost touch with ones religion...

we CHOOSE 2 ignore...we CHOOSE 2 forget...that ALLAH is ever watching...we think or choose to think that we are self sufficient....ignorance is bliss no???

well anyways what im trying to say to all my muslim sisters is that you should look for a husband with whatever qualities u are looking for but most importantly is their iman....how many ppl do u know that are divorced, having marital problems, guy seeing another chick at work...etc3....astaghfirllah...n u say nooo its ok he loves me....but what is love??? is it the kind u c on tv???

my answer to that is no! true love does exist....but ONLY AFTER u get married....in an islamic point of view that is...which WE ALL should adopt....

u lookin for beauty? what is beauty? it doesnt last...if you want money? where does d money come from? u think that it cant b taken away just like that? money too does not last...u want reputation and class? from who?? would ppl still remember u after u die?? surely not...not unless u did sumting great...thats not my point tho...all these are what comes and are willed by ALLAH.

Trust in allah my beloved sisters and brothers....that is what we all lack nowadays...we trust everyone else, but when no one comes to help us...who do we instinctively turn 2?? ALLAH!!!! then y is it so hard to put our trust in him?

make your intentions pure....if u want to get married, marry with the intention for allah n all will b well insyllh....e.g. u wana get married 2 avoid sin then go ahead u know....

so choose your future husband/wife carefully...remember...IMAN is the utmost importance....

may allah forgive me for whatever i have said....
DW said…
Can't help but agree with Mr Anon here with regard to iman. With IMAN, semuanya diberkati including your marriage. But before finding someone to love yang beriman, first, equip yourself with IMAN.
parishiltonbrunei said…
i'm not married yet, but hoping when i finally settle down, my love for him will never go down and i'm hoping the same from him... i want our love to stay forever till our last breath... my parents are one example of romantic couple... after more than 20 years of marriage, they still stay romantic as before...
Anonymous said…
Great post! I can't stop laughing when i re-read it again!
Anonymous said…
I read in a mag, when marrying someone which parents have difficulty or approving and eventually the parents have no redha at all but let you marry the person for the sake of you saying persistently and stubbornly "But i love him/her...if i don't marry him/her i just can't live..etc", then the marriage may not be blessed with berkat.And it's way much better to marry someone which parents redha...its like a passport or ticket to a marriage which is full of kasih sayang and keimanan.
It all comes down to satisfying each other's emotional bank account. Once this is attained, I guess trust will always prevail.
geekgoddess said…
i am not particularly pious but I am learning and growing. I am looking for a man that is beriman. they don't have to be extremely pious but must be willing to learn and increase their religious knowledge.

Alas, it is not such an easy feat to find a man like that here.

love is only true if it's real. so many of the youths now have been tricked by thinking that the love they see potrayed on tv, in books and magazines is real. although global this type of love is not the way of Islam.

I keep on lobbying to my friends the book 'Tentang Cinta' by Pahrol Mohd Juoi, a malaysian. I must say, it took me a while to finish the book since it was written in Malay but it is a very good read filled with quotes from hadiths and the Holy Quran. It's actually suprisingly light and to the point.

I only wished that I had read it when I was a teenager. I could have avoided all those stupid mistakes had I understood what real love meant. I hope the author will consider publishing it in English so it will get more readers.

I'm not a saint or a religious fanatic but I believe this book is just what we need. Schools should order it by the bulk.

The book just confirmed what I believe to be true. When you love because of Allah, that is REAL love. if it's real love, we will not tarnish it with sins. it's a gift purely from god so those in real love will preserve the purity.

How many times have we heard of teens failing in exams because of love? Killing themselves, going to the extreme just to prove their love...and not to mention the mnay divorces and scandals and affairs for the adults and married? Is that what you call REAL love?

i for one do not like hearing the phrase " if i don't have your love, i will die". it's like saying that that person holds the key to your life. and shunning Allah s.w.t. God did not give you life to waste it away on some loser who does not even understand what love is, okay.

We weren't born to serve any1 else but Allah swt so we should live serving Allah and die because of Allah swt.

REAL love should take you closer to Allah swt, not further away.
AnakBrunei said…
Hehehe tekidum ku membaca this post... This is what is called "reality humour"...

My wife and I have just done lap number 10 this year and I must say, some of the things in the post do ring true... esp the balas sms bit heheh! But being rude to your spouse is definitely not cool lah...

I think the longer we share our lives with our spouses, the more familiar we become with each other, and cosmetic gestures of affection and love become more intrinsic and intuitive.

Interesting to read all the references to iman and how important it is in ensuring a long and happy marriage... I totally agree that iman or faith is one of the critical elements for a long and happy marriage.

However, faith is not only limited to religion, but encompasses other facets of life as well. Faith in each other, faith in our ourselves, even faith in the institution of marriage...

I like the way Local Foreigner puts it. It all comes down to satisfying each other's emotional bank account.

I believe many ladies are reading this post, so I'd like to share another interesting post for you ladies to mull over...
kelamari said…
although i am yet to be married, i guess there is always room for improvement hehehe, although it is a reality for unmarried ones like me, and a reality check for the ones yang sudah heheh. anyway, ada jua kan kami (me and my fiancee) take note tu the matters yg di rista ah, sebagai panduan.....heheh

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