Please excuse my son from school

Yesterday for some reason (you know how it is, a fragment of your memory suddenly came), I remembered the time when I was staying at the Brunei Students Hostel in Singapore. The Hostel catered to Brunei scholarship students which stayed there studying in various Singapore schools from about 1955 to about 1983 if I am not mistaken. About 10 best Brunei male PCE students and the Arabic students were sent to Singapore every year. The program stops when Maktab Sains started and when Al-Azhar University accepted direct entry for the Arabic students from Brunei. Just for the record more than 400 students went through the Singapore route and we do form a strong group of constituents.

We were a tough lot for the warden to look after. One of our favourite tricks was signing our own excuses for not going to school. After a while, some of us were particularly good at it and were able to imitate his signature for the times when we skive school. It was the bad old days. When I was at Primary school, I remembered that there was this girl who copied her dad's signature into her report book because she came in much lower in her class than what the dad wanted. She was in big trouble when her dad came to the classroom asking why is it that the school has not handed his daughter's report card to him.

Anyway, this being a Sunday, I thought we will take some light hearted moments reading actual excuses written by parents who themselves may have been excused to much from school when they were younger:-

# "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

# "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

# "Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

# "Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

# "Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

# "John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

# "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

# "Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

# "Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

# "Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

# "Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

# "Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

# "Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

# "Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

# "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

# "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

# "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

# "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

# "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

# "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

# "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."